Late Night: Why Ellen Should Host the Tonight Show

I'm not an expert, but I'm smarter than the average bear.  Why is NBC is shuffling a bunch of low-rating losers like Jay and Conan?  Last summer, it was perfectly obvious to me that the best choice for the Tonight Show was and is Ellen DeGeneres.  Why isn't it obvious to everyone else?

First off:
Most of the Tonight Show's current viewers are the "coveted" 18-49 year old men.  Why are they coveted?  Dunno.  In my reality, women who love Ellen (35+, I'm guessing) have FAR more buying power than this group of men.  Does NBC seriously not know that women buy 80% of EVERYTHING!  That includes cars, electronics, major appliances -- you name it.  That's a LOT more buying power than a 35 year old guy who hasn't yet earned his highest pay potential and who is just starting out.  Compare him to the 50 year old woman who spends not only her paycheck, but the majority of her husband's (groceries, clothing for the family, vacations, etc.).

Secondly:
If you court the audience that has the most buying power and they start to watch, you can get the most advertising revenue.  Right?  (I told you I was smart.)  And so what if you get a drop off in the 18-49 year old men?  You get a whole new demographic for late night.  I would venture that much of Ellen's current audience don't watch Conan -- but that they would tune in for her.

Lastly:
Ellen is delightful.  Who doesn't like Ellen?  She's not a middle-of-the-road ass-kisser like Jay.  People like Ellen who have the moral courage to come out of the closet before it's fashionable to do so are definitely not ass-kissers.  They are trend setters.

I don't watch her daytime show, but I like her.  If I watched daytime talk shows, I would watch hers.  I've seen it a few times and she's always funny -- authentically funny.  Why do you think American Idol picked her up?  People like Ellen: they want to hear her opinion on things -- even things she probably doesn't know much about, like pop music. 

So why is NBC sticking with the losers?  Here's my best guess:  middle aged moms are so unappealing, so unsexy to the executives at NBC that they would rather lose money than have to court this demographic.  They would like to make a show that their younger selves would watch. To me, this sounds like a shaky business model.

Free Audio Books for Children

OK, almost free. All you have to do is buy a 99 cent app for your iPhone. That's pretty close to free for a long car ride with two kids in the back seat, no?

There is a wonderful organization called Librivox. They take books in the public domain and have volunteers record them and then distribute them on their website. You could listen to the books on your computer for free.

An enterprising company called AudioBooks has created an app whereby you can download these books to your iPhone et, voila! You're all set. There are new titles being added all the time and tons of books for kids.

Here's the bad news: the people reading the books are not actors and god bless them for volunteering, but some could use a little pep, zest and tone fluctuation. And some ACTING LESSONS! It's not like listening to John Lithgow, people! But it's free! (OK, 99 cents)

Here's what you do:

• go to the iTunes store -- for those of you with PCs, yes you can download iTunes and go to the iTunes store (did you really think that Apple was going to miss out on all that revenue?) and...
• go to the App section and search under "audiobooks."
• Now buy the app. It's called "Audiobooks" and has a blue background. Version 3.1 as of today.
• Now sync it to your iPhone.
  

You are done.

Oh, here's the other kind of down side: the catalog could use a little bit better organization. And perhaps, user reviews. And key word searches like say "boy" or "girl" and "Princess" -- stuff like that. But it's almost free! And there is a children's category to search. Look, for free, you can spend 15 minutes searching the catalog and figuring out what to play before you get into your road trip. Right?

What do you mean you don't have an adaptor to play your iPhone through your car stereo? And you don't have a headphone splitter so that both kids could listen to the story on separate headphones? Honey, start clicking. This is a GREAT investment.

It's only getting better, people.

Not For Tourists: New iPhone App

I was asked to check out the new iPhone app from Not For Tourists. It’s like a mini-Yelp, a self-described “ultimate guide for the savvy city-dweller.” So far, there are three editions: Manhattan, San Francisco and London. My gut reaction was “why is this better than the Yelp iPhone application?” And now I realize that I have to back up: do you know what Yelp is?

Yelp is like a new-fangled Zagat guide of EVERYTHING. Dentists, restaurants, parks — you name it, Yelpers have written reviews about it. (Unless you’re in a city like say, Boise.) And unlike Zagat, Yelp does not edit their users’ reviews so you get the whole shebang of what people thought. Some helpful, some mean, some are friends of the owner of the restaurant being reviewed, some are just having a bad day and taking it out on the coffee shop — but it’s pretty easy to read between the lines with just a little experience.

So, back to NFT.  The organization on the app is well done: you can search by neighborhood, by category (restaurant, hotel, hospital) and then when you figure out where you want to go, you can search for other places nearby.  You can even bookmark your faves.  The one crucial category that they left out is “Bathrooms.”  It’s so key to know where the good bathrooms are in New York, even if you live and work there.  (Free tip:  Best Bathroom is in Henri Bendel’s on 5th, downstairs.  It’s like a studio apartment.)

Here’s why it’s worth $4.99 for the app: you don’t have to be online to get the information, like you do with Yelp.  This is helpful if you’re somewhere in New York and can’t get a signal.  Or don’t want to pay for a signal.  Whenever you sync your iPhone, it will update the information.  That’s nice.  And even when I was an expert on Manhattan, you really can’t know EVERYTHING.  The downside is that there is not a conglomoration of reviews like on Yelp — but then again, do you really need to read 170 reviews about Hotel Gansevoort when you’re on-the-go?  Do that at home.  On Yelp.

I say get it.  At the very least, it’s good entertainment on the subway for all of you closet know-it-alls.  And you know who you are.

The Definition of a Vacation -- along with an iPhone App

My last vacation was a helluva long time ago.  Before kids.  Yes, I have traveled since I've had my (2) kids (ages 4 and 5), but those were "trips," not vacations.  A vacation is where you don't have responsibilities to pick up after/feed/referee your small children.

So, I have frequent flier miles to use and I no longer live in the same town as my parents, so there is actually the possibility that my mom and dad will come to our home to take care of the children while we go away -- ON VACATION.  When we all lived in LA together, our house was kinda shabby and their house was kinda far away (45 minutes in traffic) from the kids' school, so it was not a great situation.  Now that we live in Boise where life is easy (seriously, Boise is Shangri-La), we have a dedicated guest room and the local ski resort is free for seniors (!), I believe I can make a vacation happen for my husband and me.  My parents miss my children tremendously.

We can't go far (international travel is out, dang), and we want to go someplace warm and fun -- and that seems like another country.  Miami.  Last time I was there, we stayed in a shabby hotel.  Not sure why.  Oh, right.  We were poor.  This time, if I can make it work, here is where I would like to stay:

You can't really go wrong with the Four Seasons, right?  (Until you get the bill, that is.)  I've stayed at a Four Seasons in Chaing Mai and in Los Angeles:  calm, extreme attention to detail (in a good way) and the most excellent beds ever.  But the Miami Four Seasons is in the Business District.  I'd prefer to be in South Beach (who wouldn't?).

Last time I was there, I wandered through the Delano lobby.  Fabulous Phillipe Starck design.  Very kid unfriendly.  I liked this place.  The rooms are all white.  To me, that screams "VACATION!"  This is a place where I can be an adult and not a parent.  Despite the too-cool-for-school vibe, I would feel relaxed here.

Another option would be the Albion, also in South Beach.

(by the way, I'm getting my reserach done on Oyster.com -- they have photos and reviews from real people who PAID for their lodging themselves -- problem is, they only have seven cities' hotels reviewed right now.  Can someone please invest in this company?  it's like the yelp/Zagat of hotels -- but will all the photos, you get a much more in depth view.)

The Albion is a more modestly priced hotel, 2 blocks from the beach and is purported to be one of South Beach's best values.  Hey, I can do a value vacation.  No kids?  Still a vacation.

Now, what I would really like is for Oyster.com to get an iPhone app (please, investors?) so that I can do all of this research in-between shuttling my kids from school to their activities.  I would just be able to enter: South Beach, Kid-Unfriendly, and Value (you know my priorities).  This is something that Oyster could accomplish in two weeks.  Come on, guys!  I would even pay 99 Cents for it!

This is a TravelingMom dedicated post.

BYOW: Free Wifi in Every Hotel!

I was just telecommuting online (webicommuting?) with my boss (project-based, GDI to the end!) who was on vacay. He was at a schnootzy hotel that had crap wifi: couldn't get a signal, had to keep moving around to find his bars. And that's with a $20 internet connection fee! Now, this is a very FANCY hotel. I guess no one really has to work if they go to that hotel, but my boss, he's got a great work ethic.

Now, if you can afford that hotel and you DEPEND on your Internet connection to help you stay productive, you really should look into getting your own, personal wifi bubble. OK, no, I haven't used it, but David Pogue has and you know that I love/trust/want-to-be-the-best-friend-of David Pogue.

Mr. Pogue explains it very well, but here it is in a nutshell: You pay anywhere from $30-$60/month and you get your own personal hot-spot that you can share with up to four other people (children with iPods, co-workers, etc.).

How is it different from a cellular modem? Well, first off, it doesn't have to be plugged in -- it's cordless, small and has rechargeable batteries (and works while it's being charged!) and secondly, you don't need to plug it into your laptop -- you don't even need a laptop at all! It's got a super strong battery that lasts 4 full hours of full use and 40 hours in sleep mode.

Why can't hotels just supply free wifi? Let me answer that question with another question: If you work on your vacation, is it really a vacation?

Tweet This! Gain viewers to your blog.

A friend of mine had "tweet this" at the end of her blog post and I felt like this was something I needed. So I googled "Tweet this" and found a post that showed me how to do it. I found it here.

It looks difficult, but it's not. You just have to READ. For those of your who don't like reading... yes, it's difficult.

Why is this important? Well, it's a great use of Twitter -- rather than telling people who are "following you" that you just stepped off a plane or something (woooweeee), you can actually give your followers a tangible thing to do after they've read your post and found it awesome: "go and read this blog. I found it fascinating."

And I use the Tweet This after I've published a new post, to alert my followers.

Do it before everyone else does it. It took me five minutes.

Tiny Your Link: Here's What Bugs Me

The following tip is super easy and makes you look VERY in-the-know:

When you are forwarding a link to a friend and it takes up 4 lines of space, why don't you make it into a Tiny URL?

Say what?

A tiny url merely shortens the link into a more manageable link, one that won't lose its function when it wraps around to the next line because it's... short. Tiny. Very small.

Here's how it works: Go to the website and paste your link in the box provided and then click: "tiny it." The screen will refresh with a new, leaner link (url) that you can twitter with or send to a friend or post on Facebook, etc.

This is important to know in the same way that the following is important to know:

• Don't attach 30 photos to an email to your friends
• Don't forward chain emails
• Don't forward joke emails from your parents
• Don't use yahoo/hotmail/gmail for your business email

There are a lot of new rules of etiquette in the 21st Century online. How do you find them out?

Stick with me! I'll let you know.